humorstop:

oh


dutchster:

Do the birds and bees ever hang out or do they just fuck every time?


reichenbackdatassup:

wow my brother was telling me this joke and he said

"if you’re fighting with a woman and she pulls a knife on you, just pull out the bread and cheese and meat and her womanly instincts will kick in and she’ll just make you a sandwich"

then all of a sudden our mom emerges from the kitchen holding a huge ass knife and she approaches my brother asking “sorry what was that?” and he started screaming

(Source: spockdarlin)

totallyfubar:

totallyfubar:

There’s a bee bosom joke here somewhere

HER BUZZOM
FUCKIN NAILED IT

perlockholmes:

waitrose:

waitrose:

one of my favourite superstitions is this one they have in china where ghosts allegedly can’t turn corners, so in shanghai they built a bridge made entirely of 90° turns to ward off the evil spirits 

i shit you not

image

I guess pacman really fucked them up, then

(Source: waitrose)

Slide Back Home Slide further